Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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