There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
honey bunches of taint.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize