so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
