I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
