I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I FOUND THE LEGS
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
