i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
