dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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