im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
