So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I love having hate sex.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
