He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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