Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
