I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
