Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Oh god it's open bar.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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