He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
