no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
