She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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