Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
