its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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