i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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