There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
