in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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