I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Randomize
