TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize