you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
