Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
