You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
