and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize