I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
