did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize