AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
