Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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