Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize