Your mouth is God's brothel.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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