Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
