then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
