From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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