You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
