Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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