I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
