i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize