i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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