everyone is single if you try hard enough
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
