As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
