is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
