Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
