everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize