You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
