My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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