if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
