dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
