so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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