Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
