Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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