I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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