Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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