I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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