The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
