Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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