I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
