Where is the hickey?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
