I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
