He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
