Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
