i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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