just tell him i said nine months
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
