yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
