he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize